Grief
by Nymbis
Summary: It had all happened so suddenly, and she was clueless as to how she should react. But now, Catty will get her chance to grieve. Book 11 Spoilers.


_Grief_.

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**By**: Nymbis

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**Summary**: It had all happened so suddenly, and she was clueless as to how she should react. But now, Catty will get her chance to grieve. Book 11 Spoilers.

**AN**: I suppose I decided to write this as a way to rework the ending of Book 11, for all other CnC shippers, I'm pretty sure that it was a great disappointment to you all. This is Catty's POV through the story. Catty's always been the Daughter I identified with the most, and I thought that she definitely wasn't acting like herself through The Prophecy. So this is a little insight as to why she acted like she did.

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"_Why're you saying this?" Kyle had asked her, his eyes easily portraying his hurt._

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_Catty swallowed hard, "It's the only way." _

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_Kyle shook his head, disbelieving, "Then why would you say you weren't scared Catty? Why would you lie?"_

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_Catty lowered her head, there was no way she could tell him the real reason why she could no longer see him, "It's too dangerous."_

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_Kyle snorted, "Too dangerous? It was you who proclaimed that _you_ had accepted your dark heritage, _you_ who said that it no longer mattered if your father knew."_

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_Catty inwardly struggled to maintain her calm, but inside she was festering, "Kyle, you also said that it was too dangerous." Her voice remained flat. She looked him straight in the eye, "Remember? You said you were cursed as a _servi _to forever destroy the ones you loved."_

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_He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Catty," He said, his voice no longer angry, but tinged with concern, "It was you who wanted to do this, to try seeing each other."_

"_I know," She said, sorrow creeping into her tone unwittingly, "But I was wrong." _

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_She could feel a stinging sensation in her eyes that signaled the start of tears. She slowly exhaled, trying to keep her emotions in check. She would not show any sign of doubt, not now. Not in front of Kyle._

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_It appeared that realization had suddenly dawned on Kyle, "It's because of him, isn't it?" His words were neither jealous, nor hostile._

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_Catty took the palm of her hand and tried to brush away the tears that were leaking down her cheeks, "What do you mean?" She asked throatily._

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_Kyle cupped the side of her face with his hand, "You know what I mean." He pulled her into a hug, "And I understand."_

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_Catty tried to resist the urge to stay, and she gently pushed herself away from him, "I just... I can't... It's too soon." _

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_He gave out a defeated sigh, "I understand." He muttered._

"_Thank you." Was all Catty could muster as she began to walk away._

"_I'll wait for you Catty," Kyle called after her._

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_Catty turned around and forced a small smile, "I know."_

"Catty!" Exclaimed a somewhat distant voice.

Seemingly recalled to life by the intrusion of her daydreams, Catty slowly blinked and turned to face the voice.

"Are you alright?" Asked Vanessa, concerned.

Catty slowly shook her head, as if to clear it from her previous thoughts, "I'm ok." She muttered.

The two were currently sitting in their fourth period math class. It didn't take long for Catty to slowly saunter off into her own thoughts while Vanessa sat at her desk, astutely taking notes.

Vanessa deadlocked eyes with her best friend, "You don't look 'Ok'." She paused, as if debating whether or not to say what was on her mind. "Is it about-"She lowered her voice, "-Kyle again?"

Catty groaned, it had become nearly impossible to shield her thoughts from Vanessa, "Yes." She muttered.

She sent her a curious glance, "I don't understand why you just don't go and see him, if you miss him so much."

Catty rolled her eyes, "It's a bit more complicated than that."

The tone of her voice immediately told Vanessa that the discussion was dropped. She still couldn't help worrying over her best friend. That night in Nefandus had to have been tough on her, and Vanessa was beginning to wonder if her recent daydreams and flashbacks were a result of that.

Everyone had been surprised at Catty's abrupt decision to end it with Kyle. She had been so confident going into the relationship that his darkness wouldn't become over-bearing or succumbing. Yet, nearly a week into, she had broke it off, claiming it was 'too dangerous.'

Such a response was so unlike Catty. She had never been one to consider the risks or consider the consequences. She lived on a 'Do first, think second.' Motto. Vanessa slid a sideways look at her. She looked terrible, to say the least. Her eyes were baggy and bloodshot from lack of sleep.

Vanessa sighed, and tried to continue and take notes.

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School seemed to never end for Catty. The minutes ticked by, but the time seemed to stay still. After her fifth class, she decided that she couldn't bear it anymore, and ditched.

Time travel was probably the best gift for someone like Catty to have. She hated being still, and she hated being stuck in a situation. Naturally, being able to teleport and tweak time was a valuable asset to Catty.

When she finally reached her room, she collapsed on the bed. She stared up at her ceiling for the longest time, focusing on the silence that enveloped her.

Silence. It was truly a gift, one that was rather unappreciated and ignored. For a moment, Catty could understand Maggie's need for no electricity, as it disrupted the peace and serenity that was hard to come by in Los Angeles.

Against her wishes, her thoughts slipped back to Kyle.

He seemed to be the perfect guy, considerate, kind. He was virtually Catty in a male form. They had so much in common, being both artists, and he wasn't unfortunate looking-

-so why did she dump him?

Catty folded her hands behind her head, her gaze never leaving the ceiling tiles. Her heart already knowing the reason, but her mind refusing the accept it.

The reason really boiled down to one single thing. One single emotion that conflicted and rose above all the others she felt.

Guilt.

Every time she would look at Kyle, she would see Chris's face. Anytime she would try to hold Kyle's hand, or lean against him, the haunting echo of Chris's words would fill her head.

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_I failed because I loved you._

Love. It was a strange word, a word that sixteen year olds really didn't need to be bothered with. She honestly didn't understand what it meant.

Chris had said he loved her, but Catty couldn't help the gnawing feeling in her gut that said she wasn't ready or deserving of love.

He had made her laugh, made all the feelings of hopelessness and loneliness disappear, and had given her comfort when she had needed it the most.

But did that equal love?

Inside of her, she silently knew the reason why she ran into Kyle's arms. Kyle was an easy way out. He wasn't making commitments like Chris was; he was new and exciting, adventurous.

Catty wasn't ready for a bond like she had shared with Chris, and when it had presented itself, she was terrified. Catty wasn't interested in undying love, at least not yet. How could she be, when she was destined to forget everything or disappear?

When she had felt the moonlight calling her to destroy the Scroll, she hadn't hesitated. Fear, was an unmatched motivator. She had looked into Chris's eyes, and had silently begged him to forgive her; even though she also knew she wasn't exactly worthy of it.

Once she had destroyed the Scroll and its Keeper, she had gone to Kyle. Kyle was a way of avoiding the situation, of avoiding what she had just done, and avoiding her feelings.

But Kyle wasn't real.

Chris had been real.

And it was in that silent moment of reflection, that Catty had discovered her true feelings. She had loved Chris, and she still did. But her mind tried to convince her that loving Chris was one of the worst things she could've done. Destiny had drove them apart, and she silently prayed that it would be Destiny that would bring them both together again.

A terrible swell of heartsickness fled into her stomach, she rolled over on her side and clutched her pillow. Tears fell freely and unashamedly down her cheeks, and she buried her face in her pillow.

It was then, that Catty began to grieve.

_Fini_


End file.
